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Humor Joke 幽默笑話

中國日報網英語點津為您精選語言地道的英語笑話，開心學英語。

警告過你了

2010-12-09 17:14
Smiling sweetly, the Primary School teacher said: "Bobby, when I was a child I was told that if I made an ugly face, it would stay like that."

老師你錯了

2010-12-08 16:33
The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"

忠實的女仆

2010-12-07 11:20
Husband calls home and the maid answers the phone. He says, "Can I speak to my wife?" She says, "No, she's upstairs with her boyfriend."

做牧師更好玩

2010-12-06 10:53
After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up."

現在她知道了

2010-12-03 09:11
"Don't be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts."

作業被劫持了

2010-12-02 10:30
A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked, "What's the problem, Carol? I hope it's not homework again."

不想讓他們知道

2010-12-01 11:17
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long.

2010-11-30 10:31
The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."

最大的謊言

2010-11-29 09:12
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

完美的媳婦

2010-11-26 10:38
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"

一無所有

2010-11-25 09:47
A: I'm in a big trouble! B: Why is that? A: I saw a mouse in my house!

我不想嚇唬你

2010-11-24 13:21
"I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking."

像老師

2010-11-23 10:05
Surprised but happy, Angi replied, "Why, yes, I certainly am!" She enjoyed a warm feeling throughout the meal; she looked like a teacher, and this made her feel great.

告狀

2010-11-22 11:04
"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved! Couldn't you show me the same courtesy?"

啥都不知道

2010-11-19 10:59
Teacher: Where is South America? Pupil: I don't know. Teacher: Where is Greenland? Pupil: I don't know.

如果我有一百萬

2010-11-18 10:57
Mrs. Johnson asked the class to write a composition about what they would do if they had a million dollars.

那真的是豬嗎

2010-11-17 14:27
One day, a teacher was attempting to teach the names of animals to a class of 5-year-olds. She held up a picture of a deer, and asked one boy, "Billy, what is this animal?"

和奶奶結婚

2010-11-16 09:32
A six-year-old boy walked up to his father one day and announced, 'Daddy, I'd like to get married.'

生出老太太

2010-11-15 13:56
During a busy holiday weekend, a woman who was eight months pregnant went to the railway station to return home to her husband.

會說話的青蛙

2010-11-12 13:00
An old gentleman was playing a round of golf. Suddenly his ball sliced and landed in a shallow pond. As he was attempting to retrieve the ball he discovered a frog who, to his great surprise, started to speak!