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Humor Joke 幽默笑話

中國日報網英語點津為您精選語言地道的英語笑話，開心學英語。

請和我交談

2009-10-10 09:30
“My wife has been in this shop for a long time,” the man explained. “But I know she’ll come out if she sees me talking to you.”

2009-10-09 10:48
I have just hit your car, and there are some people here watching me who think that I am writing this note to leave you my name, phone number, and driver's license number, but I am not.

看口袋

2009-09-30 09:31
He does this about 7 or 8 more times when the bartender finally asks, "Every time you finish a drink you look in your pocket. What's in your pocket?"

請教經驗

2009-09-29 10:39
"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

結賬

2009-09-28 10:08
"Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?"

釣魚許可證

2009-09-27 11:23
The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"

嫁給像父親的男人

2009-09-25 09:40
"I've heard that too," said the mother. "That's why I'm crying!"

如果不是因為宣誓

2009-09-24 10:59
"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.

再次麻煩你

2009-09-23 10:11
"Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again..."

重大決定

2009-09-22 10:36
"Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"

讓生命有意義的人

2009-09-21 12:46
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

英俊的年輕人

2009-09-18 09:07
I felt very flattered and, as I took off my fins, asked him coyly why he had stayed in the water for so long.

太遲了

2009-09-17 09:14
The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"

天堂里的汽車

2009-09-16 09:43
When they asked him what was wrong, he said, "I just saw my wife. She was on a skateboard!"

誰的爸最快

2009-09-15 08:54
Little Johnny listened to the other two boys and shook his head. He then said: "Sorry, dudes... but MY DAD is the fastest. He's a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30,... and he's home by 3:45!"

世界真小

2009-09-14 09:26
The first guy says, "Small world."

求婚

2009-09-11 09:20
"Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."

誠實的律師

2009-09-10 09:42
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."

潑酒

2009-09-09 09:27
"Yes," the man said. "But it doesn't embarrass me anymore!"

讓人變聰明的魚頭

2009-09-08 09:28
"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 a piece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!"